Weight loss is a multi-billion dollar industry in our country. Whether we need to or not, we are bombarded with "before and after" photos. The latest, greatest plan that is "guaranteed" to help us shed the pounds. Eat low fat. Low carb. Don't mix your fats and carbs. DO mix your fats and carbs. Count calories. Count points. Drink shakes.
Can I just confess that I am sick of it all?
Only I don't want to be sick of it like I usually am - where I just say "heck with it all" and eat a quarter pounder extra value meal.
I want, once and for all, to love myself enough to feed my body the things that make it feel good (As in healthy - not the euphoria that comes with a big piece of pie. Although I refuse to live in a world where I can't eat pie occasionally!). I want to stop using health and beauty as interchangeable terms. I want to stop measuring my health, my beauty, and my right to exist in this world by a number on the scale.
Because true change will never come from hating myself. I will not be motivated long term by the shoulds and should nots; by looking at myself in the mirror and speaking words of disgust. I do not want Baby G to grow up thinking he should judge women by some arbitrary number, so I need to set a positive example for him in that regard as well as by being healthy and active.
I have spent the week logging every bite on my "My Fitness Pal" app - not to get myself down to some arbitrary number, but to figure out the kinds and amounts of food that make me feel at my best. So that I can eat according to the 80/20 principle [Because again - the thought of living in a world where I can't have the occasional piece of pie...ice cream...burger...is a sad one!].
And...duh...when I snack on fruits and veggies, I feel better! When water is my primary drink of choice, I feel better. But no one is coming between me and my morning cup of coffee. Seriously. I am the Bruce Banner of coffee drinkers. I don't need a lot, but I do need some or, "You wouldn't like me..."
My next step is figuring out my wardrobe. What flatters me? What do I feel good in? Not necessarily "What makes me look thinner," because no matter what "tricks" I try, no one is going to look at me and think I'm a size 6. And at the same time, sometimes giving myself permission to be lazy and allow the hoodie and leggings to win. And hope and pray my torso doesn't show up on a news report about weight loss or obesity!
I am not interested in gimmicks or plans or any MLM solutions [Beach Body, Plexus, Trim Healthy Mama and Weight Watchers peeps, I love you. I think you're fantastic and am happy that you've found something that resonates with you! But I'm trying to buy a house right now, and every penny counts!]. Just real, healthy food and a positive attitude. If weight loss happens, great! But as long as my numbers stay down (cholesterol, blood pressure, blood sugar, etc.), I am learning to be cool with that.
I recently watched the documentary based on the book In Defense of Food, and I think Michael Pollan sums it up pretty well:
*Eat food...not too much....mostly plants.
*Don't eat anything your great grandmother wouldn't recognize as food.
*It's okay to break the rules once in awhile.
And that's all I need for now!
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